30, at least for me.

"30 is not a number I'd like to celebrate."

That was my response to some of my closest friends who sent me sms, e-mail or called me on my birthday.

But then, I thought it over. It still might not be a number I'd like to celebrate, but a number I'd like to feel grateful about.

In this age of 30, there have been so many things happening in my life. Some that kinda shocked me, made me cry, made me feel desperate and totally down. But there are also some that made me smile, made me laugh, made me feel loved and beyond happy. And some others made me contemplate, made the spiritual side of mine kinda grow.

They also changed my point of view, how I look at things, how I see people, how I understand this world, this life, how I think about myself.

Isn't it wonderful? Isn't it beautiful?

Yes, I know, I admit that some are too painful. Yet, I could learn from them. Learn from my own mistakes, my own experiences, also from others' mistakes, other's experiences.

I'm still trying to step forward for I'm responsible for my own life, my daughter's life, and my family's life.

30, the number is not over yet. It's even a very beginning of--hopefully--many giant steps I'll be taking in the future. I still am not celebrating that number. Yet, I'm thankful that I could reach it and can learn a lot during the period of time. Hope when the examinations are finally over, I'll be able to pass with flying colors.

Amin.

Labels: about me, birthdays, life

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Oh how this mood swing drives me crazy. I don't feel like doing anything but lying in bed and closing my eyes 'til I fall asleep so deep that I will wake up as fresh as newly picked vegetables.

I hate to be driven like this by this uneasy mood. I want to be the nadnuts who has all the energy to work, blog and have fun chatting with friends, the usual normal nadnuts. Seems like she's disappearing somewhere.

I know it's PMS. Yup, blame it on the hormones. What else? My worries? Could be. Or the hormones and those worries are mixing themselves up in such a way to torture me? They could be good partners in crime. Yes, they could.

Been asking myself: will tomorrow be better? I doubt it. Totally doubt it.

Do I dare to at least hope that tomorrow will be better? *sigh* I don't even dare to.

What the hell is wrong with me?!

Labels: about me

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She's one of my bestest friends. Yes, I have many, lucky aren't I? Yet, 2 don't live in Jakarta. Risma or Nonie is one of them.

Her real name is Risma Yuliani but her family call her Nonie. Of all her friends who come to her house regularly (since I was in the elementary school), I'm the only one who's not influenced by the whole big family of hers to call her Nonie instead of Risma. I'd known her as Risma and it would be weird to change it into Nonie (at least for me).

She lives in Wellington, New Zealand with her husband and two little lovely daughters. She is now in Jakarta to meet her family and of course, ME! Hahaha...

This week, I've met her 3 times (Zek, you haven't met her, have u? ). And just like usual, we've talked and talked and talked, laughed and laughed and laughed, wondered and wondered and wondered, thought and thought and thought...for there are zillions of memories I share with her.

Today is her birthday. We talked and of course ATE. With her, food is one of the main thing I have to deal with. She doesn't care if I am still fat and she has got her figure back. She keeps giving me food and food and food. Last week, she sent her driver to give me this yummy chocolate pudding. Oh, dear...how I love you for that.

So, happy birthday, sweetheart. I'll always be there for you as you're always there for me (the same thing I told my hubby 2 days ago hahaha).

Love you!

Labels: friends

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It's not yet 6 years since we met on the net (through MIRC) and we decided to be together, it's been more than 5 years since we got engaged, and almost 4 years that we've been married...

Ups and downs...ups ups ups...downs downs downs...ups ups ups...

Hopefully there will be more ups than downs...*amin*

You're there for me...as I'll try to always be there for you...

Just wanna say, in this ordinary yet special day, that I love you so much!

Labels: family, hubby

Now, I'm blogging at http://NadiahAlwi.com/english, please visit me there. Thanks.