Hana’s being a NO girl

By Nadiah Alwi - Write at Home Mom On Friday, December 08, 2006 At 1:41 PM |

It’s been quite a long time since my daughter, Hana (2.5 yo), starts to have her ability to make choices. This ability improves when she reached the age of 2.

I, who used to her habit of doing whatever I told her, whatever I served her for meal, and whenever I decided her to take a bath, am now totally confused with the change.

Now, she keeps saying NO whenever I ask her to do things, saying NO to any food I prepare for her (she’s being a picky eater lately), and more NOs to everything.

It seems like her vocabs shrink to NO (exaggerating, yes, I am…in fact, her vocabs are starting to be uncountable…no hyperbolism here).

This makes me feel like I don’t know how to handle my own daughter. Worse, my Mom who lives nearby, keep backing her up. She never lets me be strict to my daughter.

She’s just a child…she doesn’t understand.

Oh Mom…you don’t know. She’s manipulating you…! I wanted to yell that to her (which I never do, yet I’ve told her about it, so many times, before).

And the worst is…I feel totally guilty whenever I try to be strict to my daughter. I mean, she’s my angel… everytime I see her sleep beside me (yes, my hubby and I are still sharing bed with her, I don’t think I can let her sleep by herself because I’m being paranoid of earthquake, I won’t forgive my self if that happens (knocking on the wood hoping it won’t happen) and I’m not by her side), I feel like I should treat her more with softness instead of firmness.

Well, I know I’m not the only mother with such a problem. Has anyone been in the same situation? Feeling like a looser for not knowing how to deal with your manipulating-yet-cute ‘lil daughter?

for this post

Anonymous Anonymous Says:

Well since you brought this up, my son's favorite word is also No. I don't even know how he stays at his current weight. The food I cook - NO. Clean up your room - NO. Come let mommy put on your shoes - NO. Don't hit your sister-NO. Come here - NO. Oh I can go on and on but you know exactly what I'm talking about.

It's never a plain NO either. He dresses it up like it's fun. Sometimes he'll sing NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOO when I ask him to do something. Changing his tone like it's a song.

My husband is the soft parent. I have to be firm with him, sometimes, otherwise he will go totally out of control.

I do have to admit that I am less firm with the girl. Mostly because she is younger but honestly she listens to me at 14 months. She does what I tell her. The boy, at 14 months didn't understand everything I was telling him and so would disobey. She is girl and therefore a bit more emotional, than her brother. She will cry easier when I tell her not to crawl under the computer desk for example. Her feelings get hurt. And I don't like to see her cry. In fact I don't like to see either of them cry but my son doesn't cry easily at all.

What are we to do? We can only do the best we can Nadiah. This stage too will pass. But sometimes when I look at them I must admit it's hard to say NO, sometimes.

Geez this is a long comment! And why aren't I sleeping? It's 2:07am???

Anonymous Anonymous Says:

Ooh Nad...Hana is in her terrible two stage maybe? People say this stage will pass eventually and she'll be back to her usual self....


Blogger Nadiah Alwi Says:

Hahaha...Atasha...I couldn't help laughing while reading your last sentences...go to bed, Mommaaaa...


Well, yes, Hana is in that stage...hope she'll step on the next stage very soon, Ty...


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